A Manager’s guide to the Emotional Workplace by Eryn Kalish
Sometimes it is easier to ignore the situation than to deal
with it outright, hoping it will go away, while very rarely this will happen, more often it tends to worsen. This seminar hopefully has helped me learn how
to deal with these situations with greater mental flexibility.
Knowing how to engage people and learn if possible what has
caused the situation and coming to acknowledge resolution should always be the
goal. Eryn talks about how the fight,
flight and freeze response are hard-wired and in all of us. Knowing which you are dealing with can help
you understand where their emotional state is and how to respond to them more
effectively. I think most of the time I have dealt with either flight or freeze
responses, people will either refuse to hear or don’t quite understand and get
that lost look on their faces (and yes, I do both of these myself at times). I think that seeing yourself in similar
situations helps you be able to have some empathy but still remain
objective. It is fine to have some
emotion and let people know that something made them feel bad, so that the
situation can be talked about in the open and hopefully resolved.
The part about observable behavior is interesting because as
pointed out, we often try to analyze what someone else is thinking instead of
what their outer behavior is showing. You
need to share your own thoughts and feelings and encourage the other person to
do the same so you can have an open and honest dialogue. Don’t blame, try to talk to the other person
and draw them into conversation about how they feel and what can be done to
help the current situation.
Overall, I see the session as about connecting with the
other person in an open and honest way, so the situation can be dealt with effectively.